Marriage Resource

Finding Balance Between Work and Family

Jon Henshaw — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 23:17:53 +0000

It’s easy to give more time and attention to your work, especially when work is where you spend most of your time during the week. The workplace can also be demanding, forcing you to work long hours, robbing you of quality time from your spouse and children. Louis Upkins developed a simple quiz to help you look for the warning signs of spending to much time with work, and too little time with your family.

This quiz is published in Treat Me Like a Customer: Using Lessons from Work to Succeed in Life to determine whether you might need to rethink how you interact with your family. Check any of the following that apply to you, and check your score.

Warning Signs Quiz

During the past year I have missed an occasional dinner with my family because I had to work late.
During the past year I have not been physically present for at least one birthday, holiday or anniversary celebration with my wife and children.
During the past year our family did not have a vacation of at least one week or longer.
During the past year I have not spent a long weekend or more alone with my wife.
I do not know the names of my children’s best friends.
I do not have a weekly date with my wife.
I do not experience at least a half hour of one-on-one time with each of my children on a weekly basis.
During the past year I have never canceled an important meeting or business engagement so that I could spend more time with my wife or family.
When I travel I have missed at least one night of calling back home to speak with my wife and children.
During the past year my wife has attended a parent-teacher event without me.
It would be highly unusual for me to have lunch with my wife on a weekday unless we are on vacation or holiday.
At least once during the past year my wife has expressed concern that I might be working too hard or traveling too much.
During the past year my wife has not traveled with me on a business trip.
During the past year I have missed at least one special school event for my children (soccer game, concert, awards, banquet, etc.).
When I travel alone I always leave an itinerary and contact information with my wife.

Scoring the Quiz

If you checked … then you are …

0 … either perfect or have a poor memory
1-5 … almost Superdad! Way to go!
6-10 … pretty typical, so don’t feel bad. There’s hope!
11-15 … in need of a vacation with this book

For more ideas on how to improve your work-life balance, be sure to read Upkins book, Treat Me Like a Customer: Using Lessons from Work to Succeed in Life.

Finding Balance Between Work and Family is a post from: Marriage Resource

Research Study Suggests That Women In Stable Marriages Sleep Better

Jon Henshaw — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 04:57:49 +0000

If you’re a woman in a stable marriage, then there’s good news. A recent research study by the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine have found that marriage stability is directly related to better sleep for women. Results show that women who were stably married or who had gained a partner during the eight years of the study had better sleep than women who were unmarried or who had lost a partner over the course of the study follow-up.

According to the study’s lead author, Wendy Troxel, PhD, Assistant Professor at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, women who were stably married had the highest quality sleep measured objectively and subjectively, and these results persisted even after controlling for other known risk factors for sleep, including age, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and depressive symptoms. Troxel stated:

“Women who had ‘gained’ a partner over the eight years of the study had similar subjective sleep quality as compared to the stably married women; however, after looking at specific objective sleep measurements we discovered that these women had more restless sleep than the always married women. We speculate that these findings may reflect a ‘newlywed effect’ or simply the fact that these women may be less adjusted to sleeping with their partner than the ’stably married’ women.”

Of course, the hard part is being in a stable marriage. However, this is one more study that shows marriage can actually be good for you, as long as it’s fulfilling and stable.

Research Study Suggests That Women In Stable Marriages Sleep Better is a post from: Marriage Resource

Marriage Resource for Those Struggling with Children and Their Relationship

Jon Henshaw — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:39:31 +0000

I recently discovered an excellent resource for parents struggling with maintaining their relationship. As all parents know, children can put a tremendous strain on a marriage. Fortunately, the Family Dynamics Institute has put together list of helpful articles for parents on their Save My Marriage website.

Marriage Resource Articles

If you find the articles helpful, you may also want to look into their A New Beginning marriage workshop.

A New Beginning is a 3-day weekend, Friday through Sunday, over which a uniquely trained and experienced marriage counselor leads you through over 22 hours of interactive lecture and breakout sessions. Behavioral profiles and assessments are but a few of the tools we use to help you understand the dynamics of your marriage.

The Family Dynamics Institute has been featured on Good Morning America, Montel and Today.

Marriage Resource for Those Struggling with Children and Their Relationship is a post from: Marriage Resource